Monday, August 30, 2010

I did it again! Yay!

1) I learned four new chords
2) I look like I am retarded at three different points in this video, I am in fact not retarded, just reading the lyrics off the screen cause I have the memory of a goldfish.

Love it.


Your devious lies
and the spells you weave
are the patterns I trace
in the bruises you leave

I rub the wounds
afraid to let them heal
I soak myself
in the way I feel

I can't hate you
so in love I'll stay
call it denial if you will
because for you I still pray

I'll dance in my tears
and drink them like wine
remembering your wicked smile
when I dared call you mine

Years ago I hurt you
now I've been served mine
so I rejoice in the juices
as its my heart in which you dine

So now that we're even
you walk away with content
while I savor the juices
of the love that I spent.

Friday, August 27, 2010

Woot, look what I can do.

2) I am still learning so be gentle
3) Hi, I miss you!!!!
This wound is like
an open sore
a wound I've picked at
a thousand times before

The blood thickens
and dries,
mixes in with my tears
as a thousand hearts die.

What do you say
to the delusions
that come in the night?
The futures what they show you
but you know they can't be right.

So you pick yourself
up off the floor
and try to go on
like you have before

But the metaphors and the cliches
are beating down your door
you fight back
but just think about it more

Now your focus is gone
and your pep has died
this is the result
when an angel has lied.

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Sometimes I get over dramatic. It's just for effect.

My week in a giant super post.

I am done moping now. I need to sum up my week.

Monday - Awesome. Drank lots of coffee, life was grand, my best friend and I were in love (or so I thought, I get delusional. Have never been good at relationships anyways), was excited to start school.
Tuesday - Great workout at the gym. Still in love. Again with the coffee and what not. WOOT, excited to start school. Had some bank issues but got them worked out.
Wednesday - WORST DAY OF MY LIFE. Financial aid got effed up and almost had to go back to Cali because they weren't gonna pay for my tuition as promised, car loan did not get paid off and instead of buying airfare to my best friends wedding I had to pay off my car, found out guy I've been in love with since I was 15 was in fact a douche bag who was lying about his relationship status and I am an idiot for thinking I could be in a long distance relationship with him YET AGAIN, had to walk home in the rain for a mile, fell off the treadmill at the gym (wish I was kidding). Yeah. Top that kids.
Thursday - Ok. Still upset over the guy business but am above it and will focus on school and show him by being super successful and never dating again. Or something. Also posted 9,000 songs about heartbreak on Facebook which I am sure shows that I am totally over him. Again.
Friday - is going to be excellent. I hope.

I love the way you lie.

I am pathetic.

A dedication.

Dear asshole who broke my heart,

The worst part about hating you is that I don't hate you at all.

Die in fire so I can stop loving you.


Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Dreamers Dream

Is this the end
that's what is seems
silly girl with
your useless dreams

you let them cut you
slice you open
they pour the lemon
but you keep hoping

Dreamers dream
and lovers die
is this the end
of you and I?

Is this the end
that's what it seems
silly girl with
your useless dreams

Whats it take to find
prince charming
why do boys find
love alarming?

Dreamers dream
and lovers die
so this is the
end of you & I?

no white horse
and no knight of armor
can save me
from my own dishonor

whats it take
to find prince charming
why do boys find
love alarming?

I've been shameful
I've been a sinner
and now he eats
my heart for dinner

Dreamers dream
and lovers die
so this is the
end of you & I?

Whats it take to find
prince charming
why do boys find
love alarming?
Dear longest friend
I love you.
and when I'm with
someone else
I'm thinking of you.

After all these years
I thought I'd moved on
but all it took
was one sidelong look
and I've fallen for you again.

Now as I pack my things
these tears fall from me
as I think of leaving
you behind.

I would cross any river
leap the mountain rifts
if you would promise me
this one precious gift.

Dear longest friend
I love you.
and when I'm with
someone else
I'm thinking of you.

Won't you stay with me
and promise all the things
I'd do for you
at the sound of your voice?

I've never had the choice
to move on
for as long as I remember
you were my only love song.

And so I write you these words
and pray you hold them true
Because I've waited a lifetime
to love you.

The Child

The platonic best friend
he calls he texts
he enscribes his
life in my head

For me he is wrong
I've known all along
he's meant for
another woman to hold

But that won't stop
my eyes or they
tears they will cry
when they walk
down the aisle

The child in me cries
for the child in you
and I pray for
your happiness.

Friday, August 20, 2010

Lexington Farmers Market

Lexington has a secret. THEY HAVE THE WORLDS MOST AMAZING PRODUCE. Every Saturday in a pavilion in the center of downtown they have a farmers market. Underneath the soft shade of Lexington's trees, amidst the soft strums of local musicians, you will find homemade butter, tomatoes fresh from the vine, the best wildflower honey of all time, a cup of coffee to change your life with, and the magical workings of 'The Peach Lady.'

Don't forget about the FUNGI! NOM NOM NOM - this reminds me I have been wanting to make stuffed portabella mushrooms ... calling all feta cheese addicts!

The coffee they sell here, AW. MAH. GAWWWWD. If you do nothing else, you have to try the signature blend. This was the cup of coffee I was waiting for ALL OF MY LIFE. They infuse their beans with crack. I assure you, you will never forget this cup of coffee!

Trust me when I say THESE are THE BEST peaches you will EVER have in your life. Everyone in Fayette County KNOWS 'The Peach Lady.' She has a following. Her peaches are a religious experience, the juiciest, most flavorful piece of natures candy you will ever have! Trust me! I know these things!

The tomatoes. The peppers. The squash. THE PEACHES. The kettle korn. THE FRESH COFFEE (Signature blend - this will CHANGE YOUR LIFE). Who would have known this little mecca existed?

Find your local farmers market and share your experience with me. Buying local produce is a fabulous way to give back to your community, not to mention it tastes better!

Thursday, August 12, 2010

The Camaro SS

My biological dad spent half of my life building one.

My adopted Dad owned one.

I drove it. I drove it with the pedal to the floor, my head slammed against the headrest, with a large terrified grin on my face. The engine sounds like a thousand tigers clawing their way out of the hood, the heavy frame and body feels like a jaguar cat bounding through the jungle and the exhilaration of it all is indescribable.

I want it back. Since I technically don't have a car right now, though I will soon, I dream of owning a purple Camaro SS. Yes, I know, who drives a purple SS?

Me. I will. I will sign up for that please. Don't judge me till you sit in the front seat. ;)

Me likey.

"I am one of the searchers. There are, I believe, millions of us. We are not unhappy, but neither are we really content. We continue to explore life, hoping to uncover its ultimate secret. We continue to explore ourselves, hoping to understand. We like to walk along the beach, we are drawn by the ocean, taken by its power, its unceasing motion, its mystery and unspeakable beauty. We like forests and mountains, deserts and hidden rivers, and the lonely cities as well. Our sadness is as much a part of our lives as is our laughter. To share our sadness with one we love is perhaps as great a joy as we can know - unless it be to share our laughter.

We searchers are ambitious only for life itself, for everything beautiful it can provide. Most of all we love and want to be loved. We want to live in a relationship that will not impede our wandering, nor prevent our search, nor lock us in prison walls; that will take us for what little we have to give. We do not want to prove ourselves to another or compete for love.

For wanderers, dreamers, and lovers, for lonely men and women who dare to ask of life everything good and beautiful. It is for those who are too gentle to live among wolves."

~James Kavanaugh

(Thanks to for this quote. Her blog rocks my socks)

Wednesday, August 11, 2010


I feel like we all spend our entire lives searching for a heart of gold. What if you find it and you can't have it? It's kind of like being on a diet and sitting in front of a cupcake. You want the cupcake? Too fucking bad fat ass cause you can't have it.

So are you supposed to be miserable and alone forever? Are you supposed to try other cupcakes? Even if while you eat the vanilla cupcake all you can do is think about the red velvet cupcake with the cream cheese frosting?

Sigh. Cupcakes are a complicated thing. Maybe I should just stick with cobbler.

Peach cobbler is by far the best cobbler, FYI.

Monday, August 9, 2010

Old Dirty Money

The shadow of our love is lost in your Incandescence

Overtaken by the foolhardiness of our Adolescence

When I think of you I think of Death

When I thought our love was immortal

You let lose your wrath

You suck at my heart like 16

Mosquitoes, but

There is ecstasy in scratching my wounds

And when I moan, I moan for you.

I’ve left you for the land of blue

Where the people are humble

But the boys are true

The south breeds faith like bees make honey

And there is heritage in the buildings

and old dirty money

The humidity here leaves me breathless and sticky

But your soul seeks me out, I can feel the trickle

Of a thousand fires and the mirage is so tricky

My instinct leads me away from your tendrils

And my heart fears the palpations and tickles

Of a lonely field left unattended, the barren maiden

Deprived of loves juices

She seeks to find another

but finds only excuses

So I long for a dream

Lost in a breeze

And the memory of you

Squeezes my pulp like a tomato.

Tres Leches Cake Recipe

This is the most amazing thing you will ever have in your mouth. I swear. I know these things. Don't doubt me.

1 1/2 cups all purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon sea salt6 eggs
1 cup sugar
1/4 cup water
3 1/2 teaspoons Mexican vanilla extract
1/2 teaspoon Walnut extract
1 - 14 ounce can sweetened condensed milk1 - 13 ounce can evaporated milk
3 cups heavy cream
2 tablespoons sugar
Fresh sliced fruit
Whipped cream

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Coat a 9 by 3 springform pan with a veggie spray like Pam.
Sift the flour, baking powder, and salt together in a medium sized bowl.
Mix the eggs and sugar in the mixer bowl and beat on high speed for about 5 minutes or until it doubles in size. Add in half a teaspoon of vanilla extract and half a teaspoon of Walnut extract and water. Mix well.
Gently fold the flour ingredients into the egg mix.

Pour the batter into the springform pan and bake for 35 to 45 minutes.

You can tell when its done because the center of the cake will be firm and the edges pull away from the pan.

Put the cake on a plate.
In a bowl mix the condensed milk, evaporated milk and heavy cream together. Add the rest of the vanilla extract and if you want another teaspoon or half a teaspoon of walnut extract. (YUM!) Mix well.

Cut the top of the cake layer off to expose the sponge portion of the cake. Poke holes all over the top of the cake with toothpicks or a knife. Pour the cream mix over the cake. USE ALL OF IT. TRUST ME. I NEVER LIE.
Once the cake is 100% cool, spread the whip cream on top. If you want, sprinkle chopped walnuts and fruit on top.

Serve to those you love or want to love. This cake is amazing and will make anyone want to marry you, and if they don't after one slice they aren't worth your time anyways. ;-)


So I moved to Kentucky. It happened really fast and at first I thought it was so sad blah blah blah, except that now I am finally doing what I have always dreamed of doing and I am so unbelievably happy I could cry. But I won't cause I am wearing waterproof mascara.
Anyways. I have stories to tell.
First, my super awesome coworker gave me some delicious sweet banana peppers. Cept when she gave them to me I didn't know there were sweet and non-sweet varieties, aka spicy banana peppers. SO anyways, I took them home and stuffed them with cream cheese and wrapped them in bacon (turkey bacon since I am so healthy...haha) and baked them until they were crispy. THEY WERE SO GOOD. OMG! So then the next day when I was at farmers market and I saw a HUGE basket of banana peppers (notice I did not say SWEET banana peppers) for only two dollars I jumped on that shit like a fat kid on cake!
SO I get them home, and I do nothing with them for two days. Cause I am lazy.
Anyways, so I am sitting bored at home yesterday, and I see the peppers. I decide, you know what? I am making stuffed peppers today. SO I GRAB A PEPPER. I SLICE IT. I STUFF IT. I WRAP IT. I BAKE IT. While I am baking the pepper I decide to nibble on one of his uncooked friends.
BAD IDEA. Instantly my mouth is on fire. My eyes are watering. I rub my eyes. NOW my eyes are on fire, I am screaming in agony and I try to run to the sink, except I hit my knee on the cabinet. Ten minutes later I have mascara streaming down my face, red puffy eyes and I hate fucking banana peppers.

I hope they all die in a fire.