Sad news folks...

My advisor says my poster is a no go...so I am making some major changes. After all, she's the professional, so what she says goes! :)

This has been taking up my life this week. I present it to the Soil Science Society of America Convention next week...gulp. This can only happen if the bastard will print though...

Never have I ever...

been this drunk.

Baaaaahaha.

I would have freaked out if I had been watching this live. I am so not a fan of those little eight legged bastards. They are the only reason I own a swiffer sweeper. :D
SPLAT!

Baaaaaaaaaaaahhhhaaaa! I FINALLY figured out how to put instruments to my vocals! YAY! Okay people...this was done in like 30 minutes so I promise the quality will be better in the future but until then - I am VERY excited about this!!!!!! WOOT!

PS. I will come up with a snazzy video for this later...for now I just want opinions on the song! I recorded this in my bathtub...so that's why it sounds so odd...oh I don't care, I am so excited!!!! ENJOY!

Sugar Cookie Recipe

I spent SEVEN hours on my thesis yesterday...and got a shitty night's sleep because I convinced myself Bloody Mary was coming for me...so to say the least I could not motivate myself to work on my thesis again today (sorry Christie!) SOOOOOO I am making cookies instead :D.

I am more known for my cakes, but lately I have been giving cookies a go. I figured since everyone and their mom has done chocolate chip cookies I might as well just stay with my favorite, which are SUGAR COOKIES!!!!!!! I have a serious love for these lil' bastards so enjoy!!

In a bowl (I prefer a mixer cause I am lazy) mix 1 cup of sugar, 1 cup of room temperature butter (I use salted butter because I like to shake it up), 3 tablespoons of milk (I use lactose free because my boyfriend is a wimp), 1 teaspoon of vanilla, and 1 egg and MIX! Like this:

I LOVE COOKIES!

Ok, now you need to spoon (and I mean use a spoon to spoon) three cups of flour into the dough, then add 1 1/2 teaspoons of baking powder and 1/2 teaspoon of salt.

Then mix it all up like so:
Mine was originally all in a huge ball on the mixing paddle, but I spooned it all in the bowl for you to see :D

Now you have to make a serious life decision...do you want to be like everyone else and put this dough in the refridgerator so you can have a cookie cutter lifestyle?
I don't have that kind of patience. I want cookies, and I especially want to eat the dough, like, RIGHT NOW.

SO if you are a cool and impatient kid like me...you turn the oven to 400 degrees Fehrenheit and plop those cuties one spoonful at a time on your silicon mat like this:

Then you squish them into a flatter, rounder shape with your fingers. :D

Then you bake for 5-9 minutes. Mine came out perfect after 7 but every oven is different.
Oh say can you seeeeeeeeeee how much this cookie means to meeeeeeeeeee......


**** UPDATE: these are even better when you sprinkle sugar on them right before they go in the oven****

Sigh.

Tea - check
Super comfy pajamies - check
Motivation to finish my thesis - um...on vacation?

This is why I love Etsy. It is a magical universe where creative minds flow and the perfect journal is made. MapleSugarLyrics and TheUrchiness are wearing off on me though because I find myself wishing this was synthetic leather...

I absolutely need this little cutie to help me remember everything. I have the WORST memory of anyone I know. Hands down.

My current obsession...

This is by far my favorite song off of the new Tokio Hotel album.

I just listen to it on repeat, over and over. <3





I hope they make a single and a video out of this one...it's called "Attention" and it just speaks to me! Lol! This song is me in a nutshell.

How do you say goodbye to someone?

If you knew it was possibly the last week of someone's life, what do you say to them? What do you ask them? What do you give them that says, "Well, you are dying now - I will miss you..."
I was sitting on the couch forty minutes ago working on my thesis when my boyfriends mother called me to tell me his Grandmother was being put in hospice. She was diagnosed with stage four liver cancer a little over a month and a half ago. She is by no means young...and suffers from slight dimensia but other than that she is a sprightly 80-something year old who up until a month ago played tennis twice a week.
Now she is moving in with her daughter, her live in care will now be family, and my boyfriend is driving up to see her tomorrow. Will it be the last time? I don't know, but just writing that down brings a terrible twisting sensation to my stomach. Death is something that terrifies me...it unfortunately governs a lot of my decisions these days.
I remember that growing up I thought I was invincible. I thought I was tough shit and that no one and nothing could ever hurt me. I was slightly wild...jumping dirt bikes after twenty minutes of learning to ride them..ending up in the hospital, being your typical tom boy and trying to kick ass and take names by playing wild games of paintball at my friends ranch. Skinny dipping with my friends and driving too fast on the back roads of the tiny town I grew up in. It wasn't until I almost died right before my senior year of high school that I grew afraid of death. I remember hearing my father crying in the hallway telling my mother they didn't think I was going to make it.
Well I did. Because only the good die young...and I was too damn honery.
I became a slightly more cautious driver and I was more careful about where I walked around at night..but honestly my wild days were only just starting. I partied on through college and made myself known as the wild one. I was the crazy portagee dancing on the table and doing way too many beer bongs. I was the fall down drunk, fall asleep puking on the toilet, sing drunken-karaoke-girl. My favorite memories involve getting pulled behind a vehicle riding an office chair...rolling a couch down a hill while sitting on it with a beer...drunken horseback rides on Cinco de Mayo...drunk pole dancing with a pvc pipe in the middle of a field with twenty redneck trucks blasting Lil' Wayne. Too say I've done a little bit of everything would be a severe understatement. That was college, and now I am a 25 year old career oriented wannabe housewife...with a hyperactive twist.
Well, six months ago I almost died again. I think I could feel it coming, because in the last three years I have become extremely cautious. I hardly drink, I rarely party (probably because I am not in college anymore and I have a job...but still), and I am definitely not the daredevil motocross stuntsman I wanted to be at 15. Driving over 80 terrifies me and when we go to the desert I am constantly thinking of how someone is going to roll their car and die.

With my newely cautious attitude and death phobia, I am watching this tiny wisp of a woman wither away and I can't help but be terrified for her. She seems completely fine with the end drawing near, while the rest of us scuttle around her with tears in our eyes and lead in our stomachs. How can she be so calm while we wrench our hands in fear?

How do you get comfortable with death? Most importantly, how do you say goodbye without showing your fear?

I am so excited to see these guys in concert with Ms. Rack Booty in three weeks!!!
Dude. The lead singer just commands my panties in this video. Not gonna lie. I love me some Dropkick Murphey's!!!




Now can we please have a Tokio Hotel Concert sometime soon in LA??? PLEASE!!!??? I am so depressed I am missing the signing next Thursday :(((((

The important thing is to NOT PANIC!!!!!!!!!!!
OH GEEZ!!!!

What do we do NOW?????????
THE TEA IS ALMOST GONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I know. Let's focus on this wonderful amazing Madagascar Vanilla we found....

This is just funny...

Gotta love those lil' Disney stars...so creative.

This made my night. Hilarious!!!

Off Road Exposition 2009

We went to the off-road expo in Pomona this past weekend. I had a little too much fun :D

But seriously I want a samurai. Like this one:

We saw some cool things...and then we saw things like this:

None of this makes any sense to anyone...except whoever did this...

We saw silly aftermarket additions and cool, uh, paint jobs...

You know, because if you have lightning painted on your axle it's less likely to break...right??

This was the highlight for me...with the exception of the samurai of course:

Did I mention I want a Samurai?

Today is...

Rain...fog and hydroplaning on my way home (I am totally okay, luckily I was going slow and there was no oncoming traffic)...mint chocolate tea and a warm fire.

This song never gets old to me, ever:

Today is this song.

In other news...

Have I ever told you how much I love turkeys? I do. I LOVE TURKEYS!!! They are so funny to watch. When I lived in central California I lived in a remote area and every morning there was a huge band of turkeys in my yard. I thought it was so funny how they would strut around slowly with the males all fluffed out. It just cracked me up that they would slowly stalk around the females with their feathers all done up...it was like they were saying, "AND let it be known to all that these are my womenz..."

Lol. I love them!

Did you know that there are PYGMY SEAHORSES??????

The males headbutt each other to assert dominance. Baaaaahahahah. So cute!!!

I LOVE HIS NEW HAIR!!!!!

I have a serious fetish with this boys hair.

Well done sir. Well done.

Now take off your pants!

I kid, I kid...kind of. Hey, he is old enough! Don't judge me Ms. Rack Booty I know you are...


In all honesty I love his man whoring brother more. Cept' he's a man whore and that's a serious turn off..ugh.

Guess my hot sexy-wonderful-boyfriend will have to do ;-)

Excellent.

New Love:

Meet Lady Hawke. She is absolutely bat shit crazy - and I love it!!

Hellooooooooooooo beeeeaaaauuuutiful.


Meet my new lover.

The Perfect Recipe

Ingredients:
1 Windy Day
1 cup of French Breakfast Loose Leaf Tea w/ Avocado Honey
Ladyhawke "Magic" playing in the background
1 Awesome Eclectic Rock n' Roll Outfit
4 chickens and a rooster on your porch

Directions: Mix gently, add to a bowl of cottage cheese and wear silly socks.




Congratulations, you have made a "Day In The Life Of Jessi."

I have problems. Let that be known. Now that it's out in the clear you can read the rest of this post. Sometimes (okay-all the time) I like to make conversations for animals...or I pretend to know what they are thinking and vocalize it in funny voices. Yep...I'm a nut. You can't steal my acorn hat either. So here they are: (pics from google images of "chickens")

Theze be mi womenz.


The women lub the hair. It's the hair man. Get's em' every time.

It was then that I told my mom my true dream was to become a porn star.

Bitch thought I was a mop.

Nope. I still can't see you. OH wait, no, no I still can't.

Okay, for real's this time...I am going to write my thesis now. Really.

O hai! Haf I told you lately dat I lub u??

Why I love her.

I left the following comment on my best friends blog today, and I loved it so much that I decided to share it with everyone:

"I've come to realize how much I love your influence on me. For example, I bought a flannel shirt. I get excited over earthy pottery, I've environmentally aware and -GASP- I am excited for Fall. I found myself looking at fall decorations today - AND WANTING THEM. I almost bought pumpkin flavored smear for a pumpkin flavored bagel, but alas, I needed my dependable blueberry bagel and smear. Haha. Smear. SMEAR SMEAR SMEAR. Sorry. Anyways...somethings will never change, but I love the parts of me that do :D:D.

Wish my phone wasn't dead so I could send you a pic of my outfit: black and gray plaid tights, red dress, red and black flannel shirt, awesome gladiator like belt, and my hair is in messy pigtails.

I am such a rock goddess who eats tomato sandwiches on potato pepper bagels.

Miss you more than butter!"


So "Miss Rack Booty" I just wanted to let you know how much you mean-eth to me-eth by making you-eth this blog post-eth. :D:D:D:D