Tuesday, June 14, 2011

I was in a funk today...so I went for a walk by the pond across the street. I sat down in the grass with a notepad and paper, a carrot cake flavored cliff bar, and my favorite sunglasses - cause dammit, if nothing else goes right today I am going to at least look cool while I pout. Anyways, I was sitting there watching the geese teaching their gosslings swimming formations, when one of the parents plops out of the pond and waddles up to me. He turns his head one way, then the other. He waddles around me - like a complete 360 around me - then he poops.

And that was my evening. Riveting. Fucking riveting.

I was hoping I could say I had some amazing kind of fucking epiphany, but really, all I did was sit on the edge of a fucking oversized swimming pool that someone calls a pond, eat a fucking cliff bar and watch a god damn goose take a contemplative shit.

You're welcome.


  1. Me?

    I went to dinner with some friends who have a two-year old. Her dad says 'go say bye to Brie, give her big hugs and kisses!' so she does...

    Then pulls away with a huge grin on her face and says 'I pooped!'



  2. OMG! That is awesome! Hahahahahaha!!!!! Ok, I think your story is much better! Oh, I die!!!