How to Make LUNCH!

Today I am going to show you how to make, then eat, my orgasmic rendition of the egg salad sandwich. I hope you are prepared for the amazingness you are about to see. Oh yea, you want this.

First you need three boiled, peeled and sliced eggs, like so:




For a truly EPIC sandwich, you are going to need my three amigos:





...and some boring, healthy, lightly toasted wheat bread (I prefer "Ezekiel bread"):





Now you take the mayo and spread em baby. Do the same with the other two condiments...





Now add the egg slices in this nice domestic "modern" pattern. How lovely!




Oh yes. Slap that business together and put some Frank Sinatra on...shit's about to rock your world!




Do it, you know you want to.





And if stuff isn't falling out the sides of the sandwich - you're doing it wrong.




Now here is the important part - pay close attention - you NEED to eat the sides first, and save the bulging, bursting, amazing-ness that is the middle of the sandwich for last. Write that down.




I think my legs are shaking.



Look at that sucker!




It was everything I ever dreamed of - how was it for you?