Fairytales

I don't believe in fairy tales,
Every relationship I've had has failed,
Once I'm all in, they all jump ship.

You, you never lead me astray,
Protecting me in every way,
I lean against you and breathe,
My redeemer you release me.

Let me dance, let me sing,
Let me give you everything,
Let me dance, let me sing,
Let me give you everything.

In times of crisis,
You draw me near,
You soothe my cries,
and calm my fears,
Nothing formed against me,
Can hurt me.

You, you never lead me astray,
Protecting me in every way,
I lean against you and breathe,
My redeemer you release me.

Let me dance, let me sing,
Let me give you everything,
Let me dance, let me sing,
Let me give you everything.

Doubts

I got fears in my heart and they won’t go,

Doubts in my head and they won’t go,

I got fears in my heart and they won’t go,

Doubts in my head and they won’t go.

Don’t you know you’re worthy,

Just the way that you are,

Don’t you feel ashamed,

You’re perfect just as you are,

So sing it from the heart,

Sing it from the heart,

You were perfect and wonderfully made,

From the start,

A beautiful creation,

You were made faithful and smart,

I got fears in my heart and they won’t go

Doubts in my head and they won’t go

I got fears in my heart and they won’t go,

Doubts in my head and they won’t go.

Where there is fear,

There is no room for God’s love,

So open your heart

and receive blessings from above.

I got fears in my heart and they won’t go

Doubts in my head and they won’t go

I got fears in my heart and they won’t go,

Doubts in my head and they won’t go.

I got fears in my heart and they won’t go

Doubts in my head and they won’t go

I got fears in my heart and they won’t go,

Doubts in my head and they won’t go.

Revelation Song

Let me write you a revelation song,

I’ll sing it to you all day long,

And your people will arise,

Come out to meet Him tonight,

Oh, Lord’s people, it’s time, it’s time.

Take his word, take it down,

Lift Him up, spread him around,

I want to burn for you,

I want to yearn for you,

All my life, all my life.

Lawless Love

I just wanted that perfect picturesque life,

So I let myself get destroyed,

Chasing an illusion of being a wife,

What was supposed to destroy me,

You’ve used for your glory,

And the pain that once tore at me,

It was a lawless love,

That tore me up,

and left me on the floor,

But you came in and gave

me life again,

So I could become more.

It was a lawless love,

That tore me up,

and left me on the floor,

But you came in and gave

me life again,

So I could become more.

I turn to you and hold on tight,

No more terrors in the night,

You are the greatest love I’ve ever known

I turn to you and watch the horrors go.

My formerly lawless love,

Left debris and turmoil,

I was a love sick monstrosity,

When you came in and welcomed me
And the pain that once tore at me...

It was a lawless love,

That tore me up,

and left me on the floor,

But you came in and gave

me life again,

So I could become more. 

It was a lawless love,

That tore me up,

and left me on the floor,

But you came in and gave

me life again,

So I could become more.

You whispered strength and purity,

Into my spirit and set me free

From my own frightful devices

The parts of me that leaned on

Lustful yearning and misplaced respect

Have been turned to you

For a love that gives and protects

This romance has blown away

All pre-conceived notions

I’ll never find anything sweeter

Than His divine devotion.

And the pain that once tore at me...

It was a lawless love,

That tore me up,

and left me on the floor,

But you came in and gave

me life again,

So I could become more.

It was a lawless love,

That tore me up,

and left me on the floor,

But you came in and gave

me life again,

So I could become more.

They won't go

I got fears in my heart and they won't go
Doubts in my head and they won't go
I got fears in my heart and they won't go
Doubts in my head and they won't go

Don't you know you're worthy
Just the way that you are
Don't you feel ashamed
You're perfect just as you are

So sing it from the heart
Sing it from the heart

You were perfect and wonderfully made
from the start
A beautiful creation
You were made faithful and smart

I got fears in my heart and they won't go
Doubts in my head and they won't go
I got fears in my heart and they won't go
Doubts in my head and they won't go

Where there is fear
there's no room for God's love
So open your heart and
receive blessings from above

I got fears in my heart and they won't go
Doubts in my head and they won't go
I got fears in my heart and they won't go
Doubts in my head and they won't go

Never Let Me Down

I don’t need a backhanded love song

When I have you to hold me close

You always know what to say

What to do, where to be

And I fall, fall into you

I don’t need much more

The world calls but I’m not here

You’ve stolen me away

Taken me to another place

A place of peace

Of dancing through fields of flowers

Whispers of a promise

That you won’t let go

And I fall into you

Because I know, I know

You’ll never let me down

Home

By firelight I love you

Through my written pen

I write out the love poems

That swirl in my head

Sweet whispers you give me

A light in the dark

You breathe love again

Into my broken heart

Because you know me

I can breathe again

Because you know me

I can see again

True love like this

I've never known

But with you I

Always feel at home

You lead me with bright eyes

A promise in your blue skies

Surrounded by a steady pace

You take me to our secret place

In your kingdom I'll never fall

You've made a way for us all

Thankful for a grace you never deny

You tell me I'm the apple of your eye

Because you know me

I can breathe again

Because you know me

I can see again

True love like this

I've never known

But with you I

Always feel at home

Every time someone is chosen over me,
The wound re-opens and starts to bleed

But there you are,
Reminding my soul
That I was chosen
Before I was born.

Loved enough for sacrifice
Saved through the greatest
Love of all time

Thank you, Lord
For your unconditional love,
For chosing me and showing
Me a love I've never known.

It's Worth the Wait

I was once influenced into a bit of a Jezebel, emotionally manipulating men into liking me so that I could be intimate with them because that's where I thought love would be found.  I would think, well, there's a good looking man, I bet I can make him love me and live happily ever after in fantasy land.  As Carry Lloyd* put it, "I chewed the forbidden fruit, but it didn't give back as much as it took.  I decided to hang up my Agent Provocateur negligees, the contraceptive pill, and my need to perform for requited love." Yes, I've made the decision to wait for marriage, but it's not because I'm afraid God will strike me down with a bolt of lightening for having per-marital sex.  If that were true I would be dead by now, plus, my God is far more loving than the overly religious version so many feign away from.  Instead, I've just come to realize that I've used sex as a weapon to win what I thought was love all of my life.  My misconception of love left me in a lot of hurtful situations, and left my former self very, very lonely.  Now, I would rather wait for a man who can sacrifice his physical needs to get to know me and make an eternal commitment.  In my case, being intimate with a partner gave me false illusions of being in love with who he was, when in reality, I never took the time to get to know him and because of our intimate nature I would ignore blatant incompatibilities.  I want to know my partner, be my partner's best friend, and trust my partner implicitly.  I want true, unconditional love from a man who knows who I am and what I aspire to become, not someone in love with the curves of my body or how I "satisfy him," which was all I could find with my former lifestyle.  Frankly, I don't think what I want makes me prude.  I don't think that makes me crazy, or religious, or foolish.  I think that makes me strong, I think it shows that I know what I want because I know what doesn't work for me.  Maybe this concept doesn't work for everyone else, but maybe the concept that has worked for you hasn't worked for me, and now I am choosing to walk a different path.  It might be harder, it might be longer, but I know it will be filled with love from a creator with which nothing else can compare.  At the end of this path is a relationship with a strong foundation in faith, friendship, and real love - and it's worth the wait.

*Carry Lloyd is the author of Prude Misconceptions of a Neo-Virgin.  I highly, highly recommend this book, regardless of your viewpoints on sex, religion or life.  She is hilarious and this book is a rare gem.

Time and time again, I am told I am intimidating. Now I find myself wilting, shrinking back to make people more comfortable around me, but that is not who I am meant to be! I am a fireball of energy, a beautiful force to be reckoned with and the right man will see that, love that, and, step up to own that.