Let the snow fall all around me

My feet are the mallet

Creating a white canvas

Where I use myself as the palette

My eyelashes strip away

To a butterflies wings

Shaping the trails

Where my heart dare sings

My dreams are the sails

On my ocean of hope

Because this imaginary land

Is the route I use to cope.

These are the lessons

life’s little reminders

that nothing’s forever

so take off your blinders

Don’t take it for granted

because life is so fragile

and the love that you share

is utterly crucial

You think you have time

so you put off the call

but the years slip by

and you miss it all

I haven’t been an attentive Grandaughter

and now our time is being ravaged

I can’t take back my mistakes

but there are memories I can still salvage

I’ve spent so much time dwelling

when all along the only answer

was to accept our differences

because now she’s being taken by cancer.

Just remember how precious

your family truly is

because you never appreciate them

until you hear of something like this

and how sad that it takes

this kind of reminder

for us to remember

to reach out and find her.

In every family

there is some kind of tension

Just accept your differences

and ignore the apprehension

because your time together

can change in an instant

and life’s only promise

is to never be constant.

Grandma Mouse

We call her Grandma Mouse because when she gets mad she starts squeeking. She has a high pitched voice to begin with, but my Great Grandmother's is even higher. Grandma Mouse is about 5 foot tall, quite top heavy and has short, curly, wild hair. She has these tiny little bird legs holding her up, God only knows how because they look like little twigs compared to her bust. She redefined the term 'independent woman.' My mom and I lived with her when I was really little, about 45 minutes out of town. Grandma Mouse never liked living in town, she prefers to be alone with about 9,000 animals surrounding her. She is in her 60s and still bucks her own hay to feed her cattle and horses. She drives a huge flatbed pickup truck and has enough piss and vinegar in her for everyone. I never messed with Grandma Mouse, I was born with respect for her. Beneath her tan wrinkled face and unruly curly hair is a heart of gold though, so don't be fooled by her callused hands. She may be able to curse like a sailor, but she is also the first person to bring you chicken noodle soup when your sick. She was the one to surprise me with McDonalds when she would pick me up from school. She was the Grandma who made me mashed potatoes on rainy days and always made sure I had my rum cake at Thanksgiving.
Grandma Mouse has been my long time hero, and when she told me this morning that she had cancer something broke inside me. Because until today, Grandma Mouse was unbeatable, she was bulletproof. Now I think of my little 5 foot tall Grandmother, alone in California on her 200 acres with no one to help her. I am on the other side of the continent for school and all I want to do is run back to California and take care of her like she took care of me for so long. So friends, readers, anyone who is listening, please pray for my Grandmother? I can't imagine a world without her. Thank you.

XOXO

Class of 2002

The envelope at my door

is another painful reminder

that I couldn’t make it work

I tried so hard to be your everything

but in the end it just all collapsed on me

and now I have run to the ends of the earth

but your memory won’t let me be

When I close my eyes I see our memories

when I try to touch someone else

I can feel you touching me

I jump awake in the night

in a cold sweat of fright

cause I’m haunted by you

What have I done??

What if you were the one

and I never get this chance again

what if I never forget about our untimely end

and why did it seem

like we were America’s sweethearts

yeah, we were the dream

So I tear at the paper

when I see your name

and I pull out the ring

I still feel the same

It twists at my soul

and I twirl it in my hand

the gold burns my fingers

you’ll never be the man

that I dreamt you could be

and my delusions

are all that are haunting me

so I toss the envelope into the garbage can

the memories may linger

but you won’t swallow who I am.

Ryan Star - Start A Fire [Official In Studio Video]

Holy shistophone I LOVE THIS SONG. Doesn't it take you back to how it felt when you had your first real boyfriend?? That newly found emotional rush of a young girls crush! Love it!

National Stroke Association:

National Stroke Association:
(Click on the above link please)


FYI. Knowledge is power ladies. A stroke can happen to anyone, of any age. Just about all the women I know are on some kind of birth control, which has caused many young women to have strokes. Now you know the symptoms if you are one of the unlucky few who is affected.

XOXO

Jessi

Cut-Plumb lyrics

This is a beautiful song, I love her voice. I could see a dance remix of this similar to the song Total Eclipse of the Heart :).

Hokay, I am going back to my schoolwork now...

Aly & AJ - Potential Breakup Song (With lyrics)

New theme song! Love the lyrics!

'You're not livin' till you're livin' with me!'

LURVE. <----Jessi speak for LOVE. You have been informed.

When I can't get anything good out on paper, I tap into the old trusty past relationship vault of emotional resources. I definitely don't harbor any feelings for my ex-boyfriends, but its so easy to pull up old emotions and memories and write about them. I can still write poems about breakups I had in high school. I find this odd.

That was a lot of time to spend with someone

and now I’m just supposed to forget?

I don’t want you back but don’t you ever think

about the night that we met?

I try to think of you in a positive light

I wanted to be friends forever

cause that’s what people do

after that much time together

BUT not you, no not you

all I can think of is the shit you’d say

the whine in your voice

when you didn’t get your way

and the way you said my name

when you were mad

all these little reminders serve

to make me glad

that its over, oh yeah its over

thank God I’m finally rid of you

and your childish ways

your clutter, your car, your selfish reasoning

I don’t know how I lasted as long as I did

when I spent the whole relationship babysitting!

But its over, oh yeah its over

thank God I’m finally rid of you

no more ridiculous parties

no more girls calling all the time

no more ex girlfriend problems

no more drama in my life

So I won’t spend another minute

Reminiscing about our past

Cause the juries still out

on how we were able to last.